If we're going to rename large bodies of water, how about the Gulf of Vespucciland?
What's that about? Read on and be the smartest person in the room -- or the Zoom!
In this week’s Essential News column published by Florida Weekly, I ask a question that has definitely not been on anyone’s mind:
How does the United States of Vespucciland sound to you?
Why do I ask?
Because this coming Sunday, March 9, in addition to being the start of Daylight Saving Time, we celebrate Amerigo Vespucci Day. That’s pronounced vuh-spoo-chee, by the way.
As I report in my column:
Vespucci was an Italian explorer who made at least two voyages from Europe to what he called The New World in 1499 and 1502. There was a lot of that going on during the Age of Discovery, the most famous of those explorers being Christopher Columbus.
Vespucci wasn’t just an explorer, though. He was also a superb self-promoter, and he distributed pamphlets about his journeys that were wildly popular at the time. If they’d had the internet in 1500, he would have gone viral.
Vespucci asserted that the country we now know as Brazil was part of a fourth yet-to-be-named continent. The idea captured the imagination of map makers, who decided to title this vast new hemisphere after a Latinized version of Vespucci’s first name – America.
Here’s the kicker:
What we now know as North America, Central America and South America could have been called something else entirely.
What if instead of using his first name, they’d chosen his last?
We might find ourselves singing “Vespucciland the Beautiful.” Bruce Springsteen would have crooned “Born in the U.S.V.” Don McLean would have penned “Vespucciland Pie.”
So, a big thanks to those ancient cartographers who used Amerigo’s given name. Then again, they could have stuck with what many of the Indigenous people called this land before the European invasion: Turtle Island.
I might also note that, horror of horrors, had all this transpired, the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue would by now have tried to change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of Vespucciland.
And would we be Vespuccilanders? Or, perhaps, Vespuccians?
By the way, that bit about Turtle Island? It comes from Native American creation myths and remains a core concept in some indigenous cultures.
In one such story, before creation there was nothing—basically outer space with no planets or stars or orbiting Tesla convertibles.
Within this vast nothingness there existed a spirit. The Lenape people called it Kishelamakank. And when the spirit fell asleep he dreamed up the Earth, people, and, for all we know, reverse mortgages. The spirit awoke and decided to make his dream a reality.
Turtles shows up in various stories representing wisdom, healing and longevity. In one version, the great turtle pushed mud up from the bottom of the oceans to create the land we live on. Dig deep enough and there you’ll find her.
Interestingly, turtles also play important roles in other religions. In Hindu, for example, turtles are considered sacred animals. A giant turtle is depicted holding the world on its back.
Just as in the Bible, neither native American nor Hindu creation stories make any mention of a Big Bang.
There are numerous other events coming up in the next few days in addition to Amerigo Vespucci’s birthday (March 9, 1454).
As noted, Daylight Saving Time starts this Sunday. Also coming up are National Napping Day, Middle Name Pride Day, and National Proofreading Da. (That was on porpoise.)
You can catch up with all that and more in my Essential News column in Florida Weekly here:
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J.C. Bruce is a journalist and author of The Strange Files series of mysterious novels (available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, other online booksellers, and at selected libraries). He holds dual citizenship in the United States of America and Florida. His latest novel, Strange Timing, was recently named Book of the Year in the Royal Palm Literary Awards where it also won Gold Medals in the Sci-Fi and Thriller categories. When he’s not writing, he’s in training for the World Underwater Ping-Pong Championships.
Sponsored by TROPIC PRESS, publisher of The Strange Files Series of Mysterious Adventures.
